Smiles From the Toilet Tank

Apologies to SURFING MAGAZINE, but a few of the "surfing rules" they publish every issue are funny and true. Most are lame, but here are a few gems:

1. She thinks surfers are cool, she doesn't think surfing is cool.

2. Changing fin setups, doesn't change your style.

3. Adding a single-fin to your quiver does not constitute "going green."

4. Sorry, there is no such thing as a "magic" longboard.

5. There's nothing rude about catching a wave when some one's in the middle of telling a story.

6. Sorry, walking to the water with your wetsuit pulled down will not improve your tan.

7. The Internet doesn't surf.

8. Whatever fin system you get, someone will tell you it sucks

9. Don't pretend you know a lot about design by giving your new board that long, studied look from nose to tail.

10. Your session must be as long as your round-trip to the beach.

11. Never get out of the water before the guy with the car keys.

12. The older you get, the easier it is to go in on a shitty wave.

13. Never go in on a shitty wave.

14. There's nothing shameful about taking a boogie board into the shore break - just don't carry it under your arm on the way to the beach.

15. Have fun on your quad; depend on your thruster.

16. The guy with the dry hair in the lineup has no priority.

This weekend was slow in the surf department. Saturday we got a sitter and joined a bunch of my college roommates, and their wives/girlfriends at one of their houses for an afternoon of poker, pool, drinking, and drinking. Once the sun set, we all headed down the street to Downtown to do a little bar hopping. It is truly amazing how many more bars you can "hop" to when you are 21, and not 38! I played the designated driver role, which really doesn't bother me a bit, when a Jack and Coke goes for $7+tip. I kept thinking, "Man, I got Jack at home. I got Coke at home. I got a lazy boy at home. (oh yeah, you want to SIT in a bar downtown on a Saturday night? No chance!) I can HEAR at home (the music was deafening, I like music, I like loud music, but shit man, c'mon!). It wasn't just this one bar, you could feel the music vibrating the street from EVERY bar you passed. I think I'm considered the MTV generation (you know, back when MTV was "Music" television, and they actually played music)...but I digress, but it seems this next generation needs to be hit over the head with sensual stimuli to keep their attention. If it sounds like I am becoming a grumpy, old man, maybe I am, but it is because of my ability now to spoil myself by going to a bar with a view like this:

.........oh yeah, and ice cold Imperials are a buck each.