So This is Forty, Huh?

So forty came and went without much drama. The trip to Nica was a blast, even considering we didn't score the perfect waves we were counting on. It did allow me to get to know our fellow travelers that much better during the downtime. We were at the lodge with a group of about twenty. I was the oldest, save for a Brazilian cardiologist in his 60's. We might have been labelled the 'older group', but we sure didn't surf like it. I would say surfingwise, we were on par, or better than most. I was waiting for that 'epiphany' to hit when you turn forty, like some magical moment of clarity from the cosmos, but it never came. Instead, I think I gained a bit of insight from the diverse group of guys we hung out with in the downtime. Most were from Southern California. Most had graduated college. A couple of guys were USC grads, a couple were from Los Angeles, a guy from Fullerton, a married couple from Culver City that left a 2 year old at home, and as I said before, a cardiologist from Brazil. (who, by the way, helped Ian tremendously, when he got a bout of the stomach cramps and the other thing...yeah, that thing. They really do travel with a magic doctor's bag filled with good stuff.)

I started jotting down a bunch of quick, short thoughts I had while searching for that all elusive moment of clarity that I was promised when I turned forty. I never had it, but discovered it was in all the people I met at the lodge, the small villages, Granada, and the planes. I have always been a bit shy with people I did not know, and wouldn't be seeing again, but decided to talk to just about everyone I came in contact with and try to gain something from them all. Those who know me, know I usually surround myself with people who I have known for a long time, and know me well. It's just easier that way.

In no particular order, here they are:

Stop being so goddamned results oriented, enjoy the ride. Everything doesn't need a start and a finish. Some things just 'are'. Slow the fuck down and live in the now. Get a hammock.

I met a 46 year old surfer on the 30 minute flight from Nica to El Salvador I would have never talked to before. While showing him photos of Meghan and Dawn on my iphone, (something I would usually never do.) He told me what a beautiful family I had, and to enjoy each and every day with them. And you know what? They are great. Just looking through the pics I have since I bought that phone, Meghan aged so very fast. Take Meghan camping, for god's sake. She is 12, and you haven't even been 'real' camping. Realize more often what an awesome wife you have. When I told her my wish to spend my fortieth birthday on a surf trip, Dawn didn't blink an eye. "Go", she said. I've been back only for a day and a half, and she has noticed a change in me for the better. She notices I am happier. Shit, she even said that if this is what you are going to be like, plan your next trip.

Be happy with less. I think I tend to purchase things to try to make me happy. When I gave the fishing village five brand new soccer balls that were collecting dust in my garage, the entire town was buzzing about 'Senor con pelotas' or the man with the balls. They will enjoy something as simple as a soccer ball for years and years. Our guide that lives in that village kept saying, "My friend, you have no idea what these mean to us." He then told me, a couple of days later, that he took the ball away from his nino when he didn't want to go to school the next day. The reward was more than enough to get his son running to the schoolhouse. Thank god it is a rarity, but you have no idea how much shit I have to take away from Meghan to punish her.....it's quite a list.

This brings me to all the distractions I currently have, including: Facebook, Twitter, TV (and it's goddamn DVR). That fucking machine robs me of at least three hours a night I could be reading, or spending time with Dawn and Meghan. I know, actually talking to my family at night, instead of passively absorbing the pablum fed to me by the idiot box while it tells me to, oh yeah, buy some more shit.

I was thinking that you have a different perspective at forty, you don't have at 20. I was going to say something to the twenty somethings on the trip, until I realized, "Hey, Dumbass, they are in Nicaragua with you fifteen years before you were. They have pictures from surf trips to Bali, the Mentawis, and boat trips to Indonesia. Who's the teacher and who's the student, now?"

And lastly, I read an interview in a surfing magazine with one of my favorite surfers, Jordy Smith, a twenty something year old professional surfer from South Africa that has travelled the globe many times, surfed many waves of consequence, and has encountered great white sharks in the waters of SA. What sticks with me is his answer to the last question asked, "What is your greatest fear in life?" His answer was, "Being unhappy." No truer words have ever been spoken.

I put my headphones on for the last hour of the plane ride home, hit my 'Chill' playlist on my ipod, and this song came on from one of my favorite musicians, who happens to be a surfer from Hawaii. I must have heard this song a hundred times before, but this time it was, well, different.....It might have come at the end as we were descending into LA, but......clarity.


With new friends, loading up for a warm water session.

Killing time in Granada. (Unintentional bad pun, if you know your history. One good thing about being the 'Old Guy', was the history lesson I was able to give these youngters. I told them to rent 'Heartbreak Ridge. They were less than enthusiastic, until I told them Clint Eastwood was in it.)